life in the gastro ward

top 5 qns patients get asked by nosy but caring doctors in Gastro.
1. Any vomiting? (amount, relation to food, contents - food, bile, blah blah, any blood present)
2. Any problems with ur stools? (colour, any blood, amount, consistency, frequency)
3. Any abdominal pain? (where, when, how, ...)
4. Any weight loss/tiredness/fatigue experienced recently?
5. Ate anything in particular or travelled out of singapore? (top of the list: clams in cha kway teow, 'lamak' food, trips to bangkok etc)

top 3 coolest groups in Gastro
1. Patients who exhibit an inability to maintain intrinsic muscle tone, ie the hepatic flappers
2. Patients with distended bellies ie: the ascites troop
3. The gallstones gang - they keep coming back to remove more stones.