cookie overdose.

ugh. woke up with a big headache.
i hate headaches.
i blame it all on the damn cookies.

-.-

monday blues

and i found the perfect cure for it.

solitude in baking.
baking is so therapeutic! except my hands are freaking dry and coarse now from the endless dish washing. but i got coooookies! COOOOKIES! yummy yummy coooookies! and they are my fave type - oatmeal and dark choc chip cookie!... heh heh. am so happy.

but..

ugh.
i feel sick now. i ate like... 5 cookies. ugh ugh.

case write up to hand up on friday.
there's still TKR and THR to see before friday!
and probably do my last take on wednesday.

PSYCHIATRY NEXT WEEK!.................
uughhh. hope that will be nice.

i realised. the less i expect out from a rotation the more i get out of it.
i should seriously not have any expectations anymore man.

i am so bored today. HELP

0630

mobile phone alarm goes off. pressed snooze

0632

clock alarm goes off. pressed snooze

0635

reluctantly dragged my sorry self out of bed. showered and brushed teeth half awake.

0700

made myself strong coffee. no mood for brekkie. eyes still half opened.

0715

walked to the hospital. realised it's not so cold today. winter's ending, perhaps?
little silly songs popped into my mind. still dazed.

0740

ward round started. 3 out of 7 med students missing. only 2 registrars around.
took forever to go through the motion of seeing patients.
the most interesting part was seeing Lars' kid ( his 1.5 year old son Luca) pictures on his mobile.
we oohed and ahhed over how CUTE he is. and how BLUE his eyes were.
** Lars is our RMO. german dude with a huge sense of humour.

0830

gathered in the pantry room in the dept building.
Mr Pohl treated us to his secret 'stash' - twinning's teabags, green tea, chocolate sachets, plunger coffee. we helped ourselves to his hot choc. *in choc heaven*
listened on as Mr Pohl talked about his experiences in a mission hospital in Africa.
i was simultaneously flipping through April 07's Vogue. Oogling at Expensive Handbags again.
we left the pantry feeling lucky and chocolate-fied.

0840

morning xray trauma meeting starts.
daphne starts drifting off again.
Mr Pohl suddenly asked who were the students on take. (Hans, Mel and I raised our hands)
subsequently chose Shannyn to intepret the xray.
she did a great job :)

more questioning from consultants to students.
daphne still in dreamy land. zzz.

0900

wandered off to the library coz there were no outpatients/tutes going on for me.
should i go for OT? nah, didnt feel like it today.
read some ortho book.
tried to remember smelly muscles in the hand. (did not succeed)
used the library computer for abit.
got REALLY DAMN BORED.

1030

walked home.
still using computer.
ate cereal. (brekkie? brunch? dunno...)

1130

tired.
maybe sleep? but there's tutes at 1pm.
should i go? argh

1131

still typing this blog entry


ok guys
byebye.

dark and twisty

some days, i honestly think i am dark and twisty inside. like my mind's all warped.

3 of us, reading new clippings off the noticeboard in the dept of orthopedics and trauma. one news clipping about how it is a fashionable phenomenon to do limb lengthening in China because it increases your chances of getting a public sector job. the cut off was like 1.7m for males and 1.6m for females.

fren 1:
oh my, imagine if i did limb lengthening! wouldn't you be wasting a year of your life waiting to be taller?

fren 2:
yeah, that's an awful waste of time. i totally agree. and i heard that one of the complications is that you could never walk again! or if it went really bad you might even have to get it amputated! infections! ahh!

fren 3:
oh no, that's really sad and 'poor thing' for them. so sad. aiyoh

me:
well they totally deserved it. serve them blardy right. u are going through an operation that you didn't even need in the first place. and who needs a stinky govt job anyway?

fren 3:
*stares at daphne* huh... how can you think that way?

---------------------------------------------------------------------

problemo

i have a problem.

WRONG NAME CALLING

my registrar, who's like a really cool and nice dude, has been calling me stephanie. normally i wouldn't really care. BUT alas, there is actually a real life stephanie in my rotation. and she's chinese, malaysian, long hair... and you know how angmohs always think asians look alike? the real stephanie is a nice girl and stuff.. but what if he has been mixing us up? then when it comes to filling up assessment forms it's all mixed up too? i think it has been going on for a while, but i have only noticed it TODAY. sorry, im abit hard of hearing.

and yeaaa noooeee haaww da aussies slaaang.

daphne and stephanie do sound very similar in the whole aussie slurred speech method of communicating. and you guys probably think like, hey, how difficult is it to correct someone about this? well, i dunno. he might think im a total idiot for not doing so earlier. haiz.

ramblings

Do 2 people in a committed long term relationship stay together cos they
a) love each other very very much
b) think they have a future together
c) are used to having each other in their respective lives?

when friends pour out their stories to me and i assume the aunt agony role, it seems to me that whilst a) is the right answer ie: the one that gives you 1 point in the module 'how to be a great lover 101', most people think that is not the sole reason for being stuck to each other. love is known to be right, idealistic and very perfectionist.

except when option b) becomes a part of the reason to be together. is having a common goal for the future essential? whatever happened to negiotation and compromise? i thought love is supposed to bring you to places you'd never thought you will be if you stayed single. love is supposed to nurture and transform you, and make some room in your heart for another being.

c) is a product of being together for too long or just an excuse people use to stay together? routine is great, i'd admit to that. but unless you are implying without the other person u cannot live... routine is a shocking reason to be together. if u do not love the person wholeheartedly, keeping the person by your side simply because you are too selfish to let go of habit and routine is a pretty weak argument.

i dunno what i think anymore.
should it be a combination of factors to sustain a relationship?
what about stuff like respect, honesty, trust... etc etc etc
or is love supposed to be enough to last us?


Someone wrote the following about love -

I want it to be inconvenient, I want to sacrifice my life for it.
I want the kind of love that wakes me up at 3am.
I want love that hurts, love that I have to work for.
I want love that tests me.
I want the kind of love that is hard to find, and hard to keep and never easy.
I want the kind of love where you get hurt.
I want love that makes me cry.
I want to hold on to it even if it takes me through my worst nightmare.
But most of all I want love that is worth it!!


maybe worthiness is the answer?

why do i lurve med?

so that i can spend my time dressed up in armour like gear, complete with heavy LEAD aprons. and at the same time be in a sterile room filled with people dressed up similarly, not even passing a slight giggle around at how absurd we will look to people outside of the theatre..

anyway, this is what late nights do to you. you snap pictures while the poor surgeon tries his best to align the nail in the patient, with his leg half dangling in the air.

steph, irwan (porkchop) and me.
notice how i got the unglam 80s look-a-like lead apron whilst porkchop got the cool blue dude one.

steph, me and hans
hans obviously is a big photowhore. check out his hand pose!
notice the scrub nurse in the background. she actually can pull off the whole lead apron look. am jealous. :(

porky in his full glory. check out his blakava cap! we usually only wear them for surgeries that involve opening up joints (eg: total hip/knee replacements). but because porky has a man thing called beard, they made him wear the special cap. te he he he.

and he is blardy skinny. see how the lead apron bottom is slipping off his twig like body frame. he has no butts, no hips and no flesh!

ahhh! look! hans is a naughty boy. didnt wear his mask.
while i am the good girl. even wore the one with the eye shield.
you cannot imagine how suffocating that damn mask is ok.
someone needs to improve on it.

sore arms.

happy times are when.. u can sleep in until 11am on a school day! especially if you have been getting up at 6.20 the last few weeks for 7.30 ward rounds.

last night's take was pretty exciting. well, with a 7 car pile up and an industrial injury.. we were kept very busy. i woke up this morning with a very sore right shoulder. and then i remember how i was holding the patient's arm for the surgeon to fix. not very glam i know but oh well.

so it has been a whirl of plating, screwing (not that way you dirty bastards), drilling and nailing.

i'm really glad i have this morning off to catch my breath. so that when you are back in action, you really enjoy every minute of it. :)

oh and during xray meeting, which is when the registrars discuss the surgery list with the consultants and we students just sit quietly in one corner and stone (listen i meant). the consultant turned to us and offered us the opportunity to leave and "do something more productive - like study anatomy"...

but there were like 3 of us. (nic, steph and me). nic WALKED OUT OF THE ROOM WITHOUT A SINGLE BIT OF HESITATION. she just zoomed out of the room. gone with the wind, literally.

steph and i, being nice asian girls who are too polite to even walk across a room filled with big shot doctors, decided we should stick around until the next available opportunity to leave.

one of the consultants decided that it would be fun for me to go up and interpret the xrays. (since i didnt leave right away)

daph's mind: "WHAT THE>@#)*#$)#(*$)#(*$#"


all i can say is that it wasn't the best experience being the most junior student, presenting to the hot shots who had done unimaginable numbers of procedures. but i did get my answers right (on first try!) and my registrar was really encouraging. so it was not too bad. just unexpected. but then again, im a poor lil' med student - OF COURSE THEY ARE GOING TO PICK ON YOU NITWIT. shit, next time must not daydream. must not stone. must not stare into blank space.

and most of all, LEAVE THE BLOODY ROOM WHEN OFFERED TO DO SO.

update

i found my folder! yeay!

that was a huuuugeeeee relief.

i am so careless

i have no friggin' idea where my black folder is. >.<
i am really upset!


i hope it's just careless me.. leaving it around in the tute room.

if it's really gone, i will freak out cry and die on the spot for you to see.


for ALL my notes are freaking in there.

ALL. everything. i am left notes-less.

if it's lost i will evaporate.

on a totally different note, ACC has been really fun.
i totally believe it's the people that make the rotation.
i have great doctors that are always willing to teach and correct ur mistakes without being cynical and sacarstic. they are like really happy people. they possess this cheery disposition that i have yet to see in other doctors. it's bizzare, these orthopods. and i know some of my mates better; we laugh and learn together. we whisper on ward rounds, we help each other along when we get quizzed by consultants. it's such a positive environment it's not even real sometimes. we also discover who are the annoying people.... but otherwise this looks like it's turning out to be one of the most fulfilling rotation.


*snaps back to the problem*
I NEED MY DAMN DAMN FOLDER BACK. *big big sigh*