winter's still here!!!

Alrighty.

Observed Case was alright. I passed!.. see, such low standards. hah. seriously, crawling and walking 14 mths old babies shouldn't be allowed to be exam specimens. they run around and you have to catch them, pacify them, make them breath so you can listen to their chest.

too much work man!

Got my assessment form signed off today.

"A Keen Student." -- eh, consultant... you sure not? Yah I guess was at times, but mostly I was just trying to NOT look disinterested. Murmurs get boring after listening to 20 similar "long systolic murmur, loudest at Left sternal edge.."

I saw a couple of malnourished babies in heart failure. and they look so tiny, starving almost. you can see the outline of their enlarged liver when they breathe in and out deeply. it's quite heart-wrenching. (pun NOT intended k) And they are in respiratory distress.. and it seems so hard for them to catch their breath.. poor lil things.

Anyhow, I was in the nursery today with the doc for some consults. He was telling me how I should visit the nursery often, "just to get an idea of what NOT to name your future kids." Seriously, the list of weird names is very long.

Some examples (sorry if that's your name or what you wanna call your kid..but i'm pretty traditional when it comes to names)

1. Jamain (variation of germaine? Not toooo bad)
2. Kyetrel (nurse commented mum mixed 3 names up to form this unique name)
3. Jaeda (likened to a jeidi?)
4. Qathy (HOW DO YOU PRONOUNCE IT?!)
5. Leilani
6. Fade (?????????)

I'm not sure... but am I the only one who think these names are weird?!

Sigh. What a world we live in.

week 4 blues..

I'm not sure why but I'm feeling really down and unmotivated. Maybe it is a combination of bad dreary winter chills, boring rotation and just plain boredom. It is really difficult to come home everyday after a long (maybe boring or useless) day and do your eating and showering things and just sit down and study. Things just get so pointless sometimes.

When will this all end?

Is there ever a light at the end of this long dark tunnel?

It seems like just as when I am about to finish crossing one hurdle, another one is on its way into my life. I keep stalling and going "wait until XXXX is done and then i can XXXXX".. Maybe I should just care less and do what I want to do RIGHT now. Stop thinking that my life is just mainly about studies and med and passing 5th year exams.

Afterall, my life is proving to be an endless road of sitting for exams, getting drilled by someone more senior and always always having to think of others before myself.

Thinking about all this crap is making me sad.

I shall go and continue revising paediatric ophthalmology (which SUCKS SUCKS SUCKS!!!!) I hate eyes. Only very grateful that I can see. that's about it.

Sidetracking now, people get abit appalled and disturbed whenever I say in a very affirmative voice that "I CANNOT STAND PAEDIATRICS." Are people meant to like kids? Are we meant to think paeds is a nice field? Oh gawd. And I hate people who go goo-goo and gaa-gaa at patients during a sort of serious clinical examination in front of a consultant. Goodness me, just GET ON with the exam. You only have 7 minutes to do it and you just spent 30seconds stroking the little baby's little hands. And he/she (hard to tell gender at young age sorry folks) is probably going to scratch the hell out of you because he/she has claws. LONG untrimmed fingernails are the future ammunition in our fight against terrorism. It has been around for age, proven safe, proven very lethal.

Hence, I keep my distance from babies. They are so unpredictable! They smell funny and they can't tell you how they feel. Argh. and they breathe so fast and their heartbeats like it's running on estacy.

Retrospectively, I think I have come to realise why I thought PICU was so great. It was the ICU part of things, not the P part of things. ahhhhhhhhhh.

what a life females have.

It's funny how male doctors are so sought after by the female species..The girls think they are intellectual, rich, funny, professional, caring.. etc etc etc.

Whereas female doctors are thought to be competitive, arrogant and too good and too smart.

Seriously guys.

Les Miserables - Come to Me

[Fantine is lying in a hospital bed, deliriously dreaming of her daughter Cosette]

[FANTINE]
Cosette, it's turned so cold
Cosette, it's past your bedtime
You've played the day away
And soon it will be night.

Come to me, Cosette, the light is fading
Don't you see the evening star appearing?
Come to me, and rest against my shoulder
How fast the minutes fly away and every minute colder.

Hurry near, another day is dying
Don't you hear, the winter wind is crying?
There's a darkness which comes without a warning
But I will sing you lullabies and wake you in the morning.

[Valjean enters]

[VALJEAN]
Oh, Fantine, our time is running out
But Fantine, I swear this on my life

[FANTINE]
Look, M'sieur, where all the children play

[VALJEAN]
Be at peace, be at peace evermore.

[FANTINE]
My Cosette...

[VALJEAN]
Shall live in my protection

[FANTINE]
Take her now

[VALJEAN]
Your child will want for nothing

[FANTINE]
Good M'sieur, you come from God in Heaven.

[VALJEAN]
And none shall ever harm Cosette
As long as I am living.

[FANTINE]
Take my hand. The night grows ever colder.

[VALJEAN]
Then I will keep you warm.

[FANTINE]
Take my child. I give her to your keeping.

[VALJEAN]
Take shelter from the storm

[FANTINE]
For God's sake, please stay till I am sleeping
And tell Cosette I love her
And I'll see her when I wake...

what a crappy week.

1. withdrawal and tiredness from a jammed pack 2 day trip to sydney
2. falling sick with sore throat and.. everything else.
3. paed surgery coming to a hault. doesn't seem to be learning anything new.
4. crappy rainy weather
5. realising studying sucks.
6. realising one is lacking in so much knowledge!

eurgh.

oh. but there was one good thing.
i saw the gp on monday.. and it was not cold sores! it was dermatitis..
so i applied some topical steroid cream for a couple of days.. and voila it's all GONE.

the miracle of steroids.
yippeeee.

i'm really looking forward to london.
but i need to PASS the freaking year before i have wild ideas running through my head.

considering watching les miserables?
the sounds from the musical is relli good.

alrighty world
time for rest.

因为....休息是为了走更长远的路。